Exit Stage Left - Josh 362

Following this story about the US Republicans attempting to get the National Science Foundation to do more science rather than musicals, I wondered what songs they would sing. Maybe readers can suggest some other appropriate numbers.

Cartoons by Josh

Comments

[Robert Thomson]

Set Fire to the Rain - Noha Guthrie

[Phillip Bratby]

Data fiddlers on the loose.

Cat on a very hot tin roof.

[TinyCO2]

Nice one Josh... but then they're all good.

Windmills (are you out) of your mind.
Whistle down the wind farm.
Joseph and the technicolour temperature chart

[TinyCO2]

Phantom of the warming signal

[Foxgoose]

From the massed choirs of the climate modelling community:-

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere,
I've looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun,
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done,
But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

[patrick healy]

How does one go about nominating Josh for a Nobel prize?

[Josh]

These are very funny! Thank you ;-)

[Phil Clarke]

I used to think that I was cool
Running around on fossil fuel,
Until I saw what I was doing
Was driving down the road to ruin.

'Traffic Jam'
James Taylor
1977

[TinyCO2]

Bridge over climate troubled waters
Orinoco flow (has changed due to AGW)
By the dried up rivers of Babylon (which is due to climate change and not water extraction and dams)

[TinyCO2]

Camilla, Queen of the Desert (or should that be princess consort?)
Raindrops keep falling on my head water
Imperfect day.

[lapogus]

On a simlar theme, my father was once asked to play the piano at a social function organised by the Scottish Liberal Democrats annual conference. It wasn't long before he started to play "Here we go gathering nuts in May". As I said, he was only asked once.

[Phil Clarke]

June's Busting Out All Over (In January)

The Heat is On

The Sound of Silence

[meltemian]

A Hard (acid) Rain's Gonna Fall.
Fog on the (CO2 polluted) Tyne.
The Answer My Friend is Blowing in the (modelled) Wind.

[TinyCO2]

Greased Lightning (there are no parts of the weather system that are not affected by fossil fuels)

[Foxgoose]

And… at the end of the first act, the chorus of Real Climate commenters appears - to give their carefully measured appraisal of the scientific evidence to date:-

I am the God of Hell fire and I bring you
Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
I'll see you burn
You fought hard and you saved and earned
But all of it's going to burn
And your mind, your tiny mind
You know you've really been so blind
Now 's your time burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
You're gonna burn
Fire, to destroy all you've done
Fire, to end all you've become
I'll feel you burn

[golf charlie]

The only way is up!

Windmills of your mind

Tide is high

Money! Money! Money!

If I ruled the world

Ten Green Blobbies, hanging on the wall

[Foxgoose]

…… and then, as a complete contrast - Professor Richard Betts, represnting the less alarmist climate science tendency, steps into a single spotlight on a darkened stage to give his children a moving and evocative reminder that not everything in climate science is doom & gloom:-

Summertime, and the lyin' is easy

The job is comfy, and the salary is high

Then later on, an inflation proof pension

So hush little babies, don't you cry

[Phil Clarke]

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

[Phil Clarke]

The Fool on the Hill!

[Bad Andrew]

You know, I was,
I was wondering, you know
If you could keep on,
Because the C02 forcing,
It's got a lot of power,
And it make me feel like ah,
It make me feel like... oooh!

keep on
with the TOBS don't stop
Don't Stop 'Till You Adjust Enough

keep on
with the TOBS don't stop
Don't Stop 'Till You Adjust Enough

(Woo!)

Andrew

[sherlock1]

Baby, you can drive my (electric) car...

Substitute (wind for oil)....

Electric Dreams (produced from windy mills and peek-a-boo sunbeams)

...and the lights all went out in Massachusetts (and everywhere else)...

(my brain hurts now....)

[Phil Clarke]

I would rather go blind (to the evidence)

[Dave_G]

Ten Green Battles (sponging off you all)
Old MacDonald has a (solar) farm
Humpty Dumpty Sat on the Fence

[golf charlie]

Phil Clarke is now going to list his top ten bits of overwhelming evidence.....

Meanwhile back at the thread.

'Send in the Clowns' seems very apt, given it was the circus response to bring on a comedy act, after a disaster in the Big Top.

'On the trial of the Lonesome Pine'

[Gunker]

"I Hide The decline" (with apologies to Johnny Cash)

I keep a close watch on this GISS of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I move the ends out for the lie that binds
Because you're mine, I hide the decline

I find it very, very hard to be true
I find myself calling Phil at the CRU
Yet, I wont admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I hide the decline

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And the money I get proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I hide the decline

[Gunker]

Dough, the green, they pay to me,
Ray, a drop of constant sun,
Me, the one who adjusts the sets,
Far, we've only just begun,
Sew, we've stitched this one uptight,
La-ter I will hide the decline
Tee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee,
And that brings us all more dough

[Salopian]

Why Why Why Obama?

[michael hart]

"Five Years"
"Five Years"-David Bowie (of course)

Pushing thru the market square
so many mothers sighing
News had just come over,
we had five years left to cry in

News guy wept and told us
earth was really dying
Cried so much his face was wet
then I knew he was not lying

I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies
I saw boys, toys electric irons and T.V.'s
My brain hurt like a warehouse
it had no room to spare
I had to cram so many things
to store everything in there
And all the fat-skinny people, and all the tall-short people
And all the nobody people, and all the somebody people
I never thought I'd need so many people

A girl my age went off her head
hit some tiny children
If the black hadn't a-pulled her off, I think she would have killed them

A soldier with a broken arm, fixed his stare to the wheel of a Cadillac
A cop knelt and kissed the feet of a priest
and a queer threw up at the sight of that
I think I saw you in an ice-cream parlour
drinking milk shakes cold and long
Smiling and waving and looking so fine
don't think you knew you were in this song

And it was cold and it rained so I felt like an actor
And I thought of Ma and I wanted to get back there
Your face, your race, the way that you talk
I kiss you, you're beautiful, I want you to walk

We've got five years, stuck on my eyes
We've got five years, what a surprise
We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot
We've got five years, that's all we've got

[It doesn't add up...]

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the climate curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life of bull.
I've trammelled each and every skyway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Rejects, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each chart of course;
Each careful step along the lie-way,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were temps, I'm sure you knew
Where I took off more than I should do.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I fixed it up and stuck it out.
I faked it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I've Cooked, I've kludged and kriged.
I've had my fill; my share of boozing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
"Oh no, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is Mann, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows the forecast blows -
And did it my way!

Yes, it was my way.

[Fred Streeter]

James Taylor 2016

One Hell of a cyclist:

Lubbock, TX, United States
United Supermarkets Arena
Wed, 13 Apr

Thackerville, OK, United States
WinStar World Casino and Resort
Fri, 15 Apr

Baton Rouge, LA, United States
Baton Rouge River Center Arena
Mon, 18 Apr

Pensacola, FL, United States
Pensacola Bay Center
Tue, 19 Apr

Chattanooga, TN, United States
Mckenzie Arena Box Office
Sat, 23 Apr

Lexington, KY, United States
Rupp Arena
Sun, 24 Apr

New York, NY, United States
Carnegie Hall
Thu, 5 May

[Ian]

Adjust Called To Say Alarm You
I Did It Mike's (Nature) Way
Bridge Under Troubled Waters
Nothing Compares to CO2

And of course anything by New Model Army.

[golf charlie]

'Doing the Temp Warp Again'

[TobiasN]

[When I read about the albedo yacht and the ship wake surfactant forcing plans - well, I had to write a song. My apologies to David Gray.]

Pacific night
I am going Eastwards
All the clocks changing nine to ten
turning on the email server. Situations,
and deletions running through my head

well, looking back through time
You know, it’s clear that we’ve been blind.

we'd been fools
to allow cheap gas
to all the people
having all that fun
while we were at school

If you want cool
come and get it
crying out loud
the science we were giving you
was never in doubt

let go your hearts
let go your nous
we are sailing now.
let go your farts
Let go your cows
we are sailing now

Bubble On! Bubble On

[Captain starts crying as he plays the intrumental bridge sequence]

dropped off the pamphlets, I am running West
all the clocks changing ten to nine
moving on the ocean in slow motion
vodka rushing through my bloodstream

Only wish that you were here
You know I’m seeing it so clear
I was afraid
to show you how we want control

just admit to some of the carbon mistakes you’ve made

Bubble-on, Bubble-on

Want albedo?
come and get it!
for crying out loud
we were foolish fellers
using straight propellers
we were Insolation proud

let join our hearts
lets join our minds
we're sailing now

Bubble On

[sherlock1]

My God, there's some talent out there...

[Gunker]

We do know their will be no songs from Cats

They don't like Paws

[Russell]

This year's Mustique Climate Opera Festival features Hector Berlioz's chilling masterpiece, The Damnation Of Frost

Boxes under the baobabtree are still available for;

The Advection From The Seraglio

La Forza del Beauforta

Orpheus and IPCC

La Clemenza del Clima
and
Die Fliegender Meistermodler

Former Next Countertenor Algiorno Tennessi
will perform asas the Meistermodler's faithful companion
and carbon futures broker , Unterhund

For younger patrons,

The Sesame Street Opera of the Deaf

will present an alfresco performance of

The Madama Butterfly Effect &

Sheep May Safely Graze In Greenland
from the beloved goratorio
Hansen's Messiah

[janets]

Ohh... so many possibilities ....

Gordon Lightfoot - Bitter Greens
Dire Straits - Industrial Disease
Albert Hammond - Free Electric Banned
Racing Cars - They Shoot Deniers, Don't They?
Meat Loaf - Bat Into Hell (wind turbine mix)
Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
Dolly Parton - It's All Wrong But It's All Right
ELO - Another Record Breaks, feat. Unprecedented
Haircut 100 - Love Plus One (and temperature plus whatever we can get away with)
Kate Bush - Running Up That Graph
Santana - Black Magic Science
Proclaimers - Throw The R (values) Away
U2 - I Still Haven't Found The Troposphere Hot Spot
Nightwish - High Hopes (for another grant)

[It doesn't add up...]

Gunker: I accept the challenge

The Naming of Storms is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a storm must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.