Discussion > Climate Change Christmas Cracker Jokes
What do you call five conspiring scientists huddled in a room together with red pens?
Peer review.
TheBigYinJames
How do you mix a climate change cocktail?... with plenty of ice, as however you mix it, it always ends up warmer.
Media Hoar
Why is the german hockey stick shapes like a sausage?
Because it's wurst than we thought.
TheBigYinJames
Why are climate scientists smelly?
They always forget about aerosols.
TheBigYinJames
Michael Mann's Hockey Stick Graph.
golf charlie
Why do climate scientists not believe in reindeers?
They see no sign of a paws.
TheBigYinJames
What's a climate scientist's favourit carol?
Yamal all ye faithful
TheBigYinJames
Come on, I can't do it all by myself.
TheBigYinJames
The Met office say that next year will be the warmist year eva
Lord Beaverbrook
Q: How many polar bears does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Can't be done. There can't be any polar bears without a light bulb as if you don't look at them they don't exist.
M Courtney
Inspired by TheBigYinJames on Dec 18, 2015 at 12:39 PM:
What do you call five conspiring scientists huddled together, all at sea?
Pier review.
Robert Christopher
Lewandowsky's latest paper sampled a group with a total of no noses. How does it smell?
Fishy.
M Courtney
Q: What do they eat at Christmas in Tiljander?
A: Upside-Down Cake.
Copyright - M Mann.
M Courtney
What do 97% of climate scientists agree with will rise rapidly this year?
Their grant applications.
TheBigYinJames
Why can you always sunbathe with a climate scientist?
They don't do clouds.
TheBigYinJames
Q: How do you get into the mind of a Climatologist?
A: Through a Climate-gate.
M Courtney
What do climate scientists and historians have in common?
They both big up the past.
TheBigYinJames
Q: Why did the Climatologists fall down a mountain?
A: Because they had hid the incline.
M Courtney
I need to lie down now.
TheBigYinJames
This is hard.
I'll have one last go.
Q: What does a climatologist say when proven they have no understanding of history, statistics, meteorology, astrophysics, hydrology, epidemiology, biology, chemistry, economics or politics?
A: ...and then there's physics.
M Courtney
What's the difference between weather and climate?
You can't weather a tree, but you can climate!
http://www.die-klimaschutz-baustelle.de/new_global_warming_jokes.html
Robert Christopher
I've got a climate joke....
The Paris Conference....!
sherlock1
Q: Would you like a Climate Change Cocktail? It's made with lots of ice, but it always ends up warmer.
Q: How many polar bears does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What's a light bulb?
Robert Christopher
How many polar bears, and how much Arctic Sea Ice does it take to sink a climate science theory?
Answers please, on separate post cards to : The Guardian, BBC, and the IPCC
(Top Tip just guess the biggest numbers you can think of, just as Science experts do at the IPCC, BBC and Guardian)
The winner will receive a Nobel Prize for outstanding fiction.
golf charlie
There must be some good ones out there...?