Q. Why are there so many untold climate science jokes?

A. Because the comedian would never get work on the BBC again.

(I know that isn't funny, it is a very sad reflection on modern day, state sponsored censorship. Try telling it to your MP and judge the reaction. Then you can laugh out loud! And you may not laugh alone)

If we only rewarded BBC climate science experts with peanuts, the quality of applicants for any vacancy would increase.

The BBC have just announced that due to the unprecedented global warming, and unseasonal lack of snow, Santa Claus on his carbon neutral, reindeer pulled sleigh, will not be able to deliver any presents this Christmas.

This is a terrible blow to 97% of climate scientists and the President of the United States of America,, who also believe in Father Christmas.

Late news just in from the BBC at the Paris climactic consensus.

In a packed lecture theatre full of eager climate scientists, speaker after speaker regaled the faithful congregation, with the lurid details of rising carbon dioxide levels, and the risks to the health of the planet.

The audience gushed with tears, some coughed and choked. There was not a dry eye in the house. They could sense and feel the intense atmosphere. Their nerves were raw with real pain and emotion. They knew they had felt like this before at every single conference of like minded people.

Which just goes to prove that 97% of climate scientists have bad breadth, and the toxicity of their own emissions should be curtailed.

Thanks for these and particularly to Golf Charlie for the BBC/Guardian ones which fitted well here

http://joannenova.com.au/2015/12/no-yackendandah-wind-farms-will-not-stop-bush-fires/

Why do climate scientists write dissertations on washroom walls?

For the...*ahem*...peer reviews.

"Environment dept bullies landholders"

What word "could be interpreted as being benign or impossible to comply with, depending on the level that the Act defines?”

Significant.

“There is nothing definitive or certain as to how ‘significant’ is interpreted in the letter,”

More at http://www.queenslandcountrylife.com.au/story/3598561/environment-dept-bullies-landholders/?cs=4785

there are some coming up at SDA that don't seem to be forwarded

http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/2015/12/honey-i-finishe-441.html#comments

Q: Why is "climate science" considered the greatest show on earth?
A: Because it is a tree ring circus.

Two distinguished climate scientists are having a drink, surrounded by the Nobel prizes, and other trappings of fame and wealth, gazing out of the window as the weather continues to fail to deliver what they have been forecasting and predicting for 25 years.

Number 1 Climate Scientist in the World "You know I can't even remember why we decided it was all down to CO2 in the first place, I mean, none of the evidence fits the theory at all."

Number 2 Climate Scientist in the World listens, pauses, and thinks, long and hard. Then says "Neither can I."

In the best traditions of climate science, that is at least a 100% consensus, though probably, even higher.

What's the difference between Michael Mann and CO₂ ? The world is more likely to warm to CO₂ .

With another year almost over, and to meet the extra inflation due to pointless tax increases and luxury holidays on tropical islands, the Official Climate Science Consensus has been increased to 197%

The reason climate scientists have to adjust old temperature records, is because they were taken with old fashioned thermometers, that were not adjustable.