Q: Why did Michael Mann enter his home-made American beer into competitions?

A: Cause he overheard two Brits talking about the Piss Prize.

Q: What significant addition has Climate Science made to the Pantheon of Sciences?

A: Trickonometry

Q: Why do Climate Scientists always look pale?

A: Cause they never use sun spots.

Q: What do climate scientists always get for Christmas?

A: Old Splice.

Q: What is the difference between Climategate and Christmas?

A: One has a stocking fill, the other a shocking Phil.

Q: What do you get if cross a climate scientist with an Essex girl?

A: A chavesty.

(Meaning: chav)

Q: Why do climate scientists hate English sea side holidays?

A: Because of all the Pier Revues.

Q: Why do climate activists never win the lottery?

A: Cause you can only use 97 once.

Q: Why is bingo at climate conferences boring?

A: It only has one number, 97.

Q: Why are post climate conference pub quizzes easy?

A: The answer is always 9... {ok I think I have killed that one enough}

Q: Why do climate scientists always miss their yearly job appraisal?

A: Because they hate negative feedback.

Thanks MC, not sure you should encourage me...

Q: Why did the bus to the climate conference skid off the road?

A: Because of a Big Mac in tyre.

{I apologise for that one}

Q: Why do climate scientists always miss out on sports on TV?

A: Because results from satellites make them mad.

Q: Why do climate scientists never walk into their teenage children's rooms?

A: Because they can't tolerate chaos.

Q: Why can't climate scientists help with their children's homework?

A: Because history only starts in 1960.

Q: Why did the climate scientist get eaten by the polar bear?

A: Because he is cannot hear the phrase "The PAWS!!!"

Q: Why do climate scientists always have great sex?

A: Because they whisper "You are the hottest".

Q: Why do partners of climate scientists have bad sex?

A: They are told it is hotter, but never seems to change.

Q: How many Climate Change Christmas Cracker jokes can we make?

A: Yes you guessed it, the target should be at least... 97!

Rough running count is currently 71.

Come on, all entries welcome.

Q: Why are climate scientist homes always cold and miserable at Christmas?

A: The heat? Always hiding.

Only 97 out of 10 climate psyentists understand percentages.

97% of climate science is made up. And that is a fact.

After years of worry and consternation, and billions of pounds looking, Kevin Trenberth's missing heat has been found!

The Polar bears ate it. They were thought to be missing too.